More breast feeding indecision

Sometimes I think I am done….and then not.

We’re down to once a day and sometimes not even that. There’s nothing there any more at all- I don’t even use the left boob any more and it didn’t hurt, not even the first couple of days.

He isn’t very bothered any more and only even asks if he is really tired or upset about something. So, it’s very much my problem and not his. Part of me thinks I should just stop, that I am sending my little son mixed signals and that I am being very selfish in continuing at all. Part of me thinks that while we’re both getting some comfort from it, where’s the harm!

What a weird psychological state I find myself in. He’s going to be ten months old this Saturday- and is very nearly walking- I never thought in a million years that we’d still be going at this stage. I’m proud of my achievement but also wonder if, psychologically, it’s been the best thing for me. Certainly now, when he’s perfectly happy to let go of it, and I find myself…not….

I think it’s probably just a backlash against his growing up too darn quickly. He’s going to be my last baby- and I think I am not quite ready to let that stage go yet!

Love the extra daylight, but…

My little son Robbie, who is about to be ten whole months old, is very much aware of the extra hours of daylight.

We moved house last August but he was still too little to really notice any light changes. Plus little ones (in my house anyway) don’t sleep very well any of the time! Mine have both been bad sleepers. In fact, I’d go so far as to say they are TERRIBLE sleepers. When we moved all our old curtains didn’t fit and we’re too broke to buy new ones at the moment, so the kids only have blinds in their rooms, which don’t keep out much light.

Anyhow, he didn’t want to go to bed last night and kept pointedly looking out the window (it was about 7.30pm and only starting to get dark). He was up for most of the night and then wanted to get up for the day at 5.30am.

I’m ashamed to say that I was so fed up by that point, I gave Ian an almightly kick and told him he could get out of bed and deal with the situation. He never gets up in the night with the kids, he sleeps very heavily (his excuse, I don’t always buy it to be honest!) but to be fair he does let me sleep in a little at the weekends and he gets the kids their breakfast.

So- Ian’s parting shot to me this morning when we were packing the kids into the car this morning was “I don’t care what they look like, what colour they are, how old they are or even how they SMELL. By the time you get home tonight, Robbie is having curtains in his room!” 😀

Now, I love Ian with all my heart. He’s a wonderful partner and father, but (please God let him not be reading this) he can sometimes be a bit of a procrastinator when it comes to doing stuff around the house. So, I will wait with interest to see if a) the curtains go up, and b) what they look like!!!