Recent news

OK, enough from me in the whining “but this time I really am going to post more often” tone that you’ve all come to loathe, and that I hate myself for later when I break it. Let’s just take it slow and see what happens, ‘kay? ๐Ÿ˜€

The last number of weeks have been incredibly busy, I’ve hardly had a second to think about anything except for work and family.

Work, by the way, is now officially my ebay business. I left my job as engineering controller for a telecoms company about three weeks ago. It has felt a little like taking a running jump off a cliff and not really knowing if there’s water or solid ground below you for you to land on. I’m absolutely terrified by the fact that it’s not a hobby or an evening’s pastime now- I have to make it work. Signs so far are encouraging though. I’ve just achieved Powerseller status and also gained a Top Rated Seller badge- this was an amazing amount of hard work on my part, and maintaining that badge will be even harder. The standards required are incredibly high and it only takes a couple of assholes for you to lose it. We shall see…however, all is going (touching a whole great chuffin’ FOREST) pretty well on that front.

Me and Robbie have been home alone in the mornings since I left work and it’s been fairly harmonious. I have targetted myself on getting ten listings done per day. He’s quite happy to play in the background while I photograph the clothes and take measurements, and there’s lots of time left for snuggles in between. He is the most gorgeous child (not that I am biased at all) and very easy to live with.

So, that’s my mornings at the moment. Me and Robbie go and collect Ricky at 1.30pm and then we do something fun in the afternoon. It doesn’t have to cost any money- in fact 9 times out of 10 it doesn’t- we go to the park, for a walk or to the museum. I’ve had some really memorable afternoons with them already.

One afternoon in particular (I will curse myself for the rest of my life for forgetting my camera) it was an incredibly still and perfect, clear winter afternoon. I had made a chicken pie the day before and left my Dad in some of the spoils, before taking them to one of the many beaches near his house, at Kilclief Bay on this beach. We spotted seals on the rocks and in the water, examined the rock pools, and, despite the cold temperatures (though it was pretty mild), the kids waddled in the completely flat calm sea in their wellies. Of course, they both ended up totally drenched. It was truly one of those Calvin Klein-ad, perfect, afternoons, and it made me realise that there is NO comparison and that everything I am doing is for the right reasons at the moment. I will never get this chance again, and I don’t ever want to be able to look back at my life and think “what was I doing?” when I think of their childhoods, and my lack of involvement in it.

As you know, Robbie is now 2 1/2, so I’ve already missed years of that time. I’m not taking anything away from mothers who work- I did it myself and never thought anything would change that- I was very settled in my job (until June this year) and had no plans to leave. A variety of circumstances changed that. I think maybe dealing with cancer HAS changed me, and HAS changed my outlook on life and my priorities therein. So whilst all of this has and continues to scare the living shit out of me, the cancer has taught me- in no uncertain terms- to feckin’ well grow a set and live out my life as if every day was my last. I don’t spend nearly so much time these days worrying about what other people think, that’s for sure. Though I do still spend some time worrying about that. Old habits die hard.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’ve become a domestic Goddess since leaving work- that’s not going to happen, I don’t have it in me. However, I am definitely making slow inroads in terms of the house, and the kids have been helping me cook every day, which is both fun and frustrating at the same time. I’m fairly competent in the kitchen and a bit of a Prima Donna, so I am having to learn new levels of patience with them. Their enthusiasm is wonderful, though, and Robbie loves to clean too, so his job is hoovering the living room every day, ha ha! He actually manages to do a fairly good job, mainly because I let him have at it the whole time I am cleaning the kitchen… ๐Ÿ˜› Maybe Robbie will be a domestic God. There are too few of those in the world.

I never saw myself as being much good at the stay-at-home and keep house and kids kind of thing, but it’s just “right” for now. Maybe I won’t be good at it. Certainly, doing this is MUCH harder work than my job was. I feel good that I am still bringing some money in whilst I do this.

The whole thing is a massive life change, and while it’s really, really scary, it’s also exhilarating. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. That said, I’m grabbing it with both hands.


10 Responses to “Recent news”

  1. December 21, 2009 at 10:21 pm

    Suzy, that sounds bloody marvellous. Live it and love it. And enjoy ๐Ÿ™‚

    Thanks Jo!!

  2. 2 Emer
    December 21, 2009 at 10:29 pm

    Fantastic post Suzabelle! …particularly the ‘feckin’ grow a set’ part! Love it!! Looking forward to seeing you tomrrow evening and catching up on all your news. Kissies to all the boys! E. xxx

    Can’t wait to see you tonight- especially as your sister has just emailed me with what she’s cooking and it sounds amazing! ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. 3 Bernadette
    December 21, 2009 at 11:11 pm

    It’s always scary making a significant change such as this Suzy as I well know, especially knowing it’s now down to you to MAKE it work for you. I have the clear impression that you are enjoying the life change and challenge very much and enjoying even more the time you are now able to spend with the boys, what a bonus that is. It’s good to have you back in blogland again. lots of love to you all.XXX

    Thanks Bernadette! I got a gorgeous Christmas card from you- you really are an amazingly talented lady! xx

  4. December 21, 2009 at 11:48 pm

    Jump in and run with the whole thing…I like your approach. It has to be a bit weird getting used to a new routine, but it sounds like your attitude is amazing!!!!

    I have to try to make a go of it, so have to go with all guns blazing!

  5. December 22, 2009 at 12:24 am

    That’s great news! I’m so glad you’re making a solid go of it, and so SO glad you’re getting to see your kids grow up.

    I am hoping that this will turn out to be the best of both worlds for everyone.

  6. December 22, 2009 at 12:55 am

    I’m so happy for you and how well things are going so far. I’m also glad to “see” you more often around here. I miss you when you’ve been away for too long.

    I miss you guys too. I really hope to be around more, but then I keep saying that! *rolls eyes*

  7. December 22, 2009 at 1:50 am

    I’m so glad things are going so well for you – getting to work by doing something you love and spending time with your kids is PRICELESS and I’m so happy you now have the opportunity!!

    I am one lucky pup for sure!

  8. 8 Emma C
    December 22, 2009 at 5:57 pm

    Glad to hear you are enjoying working from home, bet Robbie is loving his mornings. P.s saw Robbie’s photo on facebook, he is so not a baby anymore!

    Definitely not- he’s huge and I can’t get over how talkative he is. I’m very lucky! Hope you and Kitty are doing well- she’s a doll!

  9. January 4, 2010 at 4:30 pm

    Great news, Suzy, and I hope the new year is full of more good news to come for you and your family!

  10. January 29, 2011 at 4:24 am

    I can’t imagine how frightening having cancer can be–but I can relate to what you say about it changing your life. I have mental illness–primarily obsessive-compulsive disorder–and this has forced me to look at myself, and my life in a way most people never have to. Like cancer, mental illness has no cure–I have to take medications whose side-effects are almost as debilitating as the illness itself. And unless they find a cure, I’ll have to take them the rest of my life (it’s inherent–even both my parents have it, though they refuse to admit it). But I probably have far more insight than most people do, because of the way the illness has forced me to examine myself.

    On a lighter note: That beach is amazing–that appears to be the remains of a castle, in the background!

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