There are some of you who have stuck with me through everything, even though noone is making you read and you have never met me offline. There are also plenty of you who have stuck with me through everything, who know me offline, and you already know how much I love you! I do really appreciate it, but I do sometimes worry that I am driving you away with negativity. Blogger’s remorse or something… πŸ˜€

Anyway, I had a lovely (why do I want to say “last”) weekend, not doing anything particularly exciting, but spending some quality time with my guys, both little and big.

Tomorrow night, Ian and I are going for dinner at Balloo House, one of our favourite haunts, which will be partially funded by a very generous and much appreciated voucher from my girls at the January Jubilees. Love you, ladies!

Then- the serious business of kicking this thing in the ass will really begin.

Tuesday should be the first day of chemo. I say “should” partly because everything keeps getting changed, and partly because I have a very minor cold, something which normally wouldn’t even begin to knock me, but I am really hoping it won’t delay things. I think they can tell if you’re well enough from your white blood cell count.

I’ve had surgery. I’ve had the diagnosis. That said- the next few months are going to be as rough as a badger’s arse. It somehow won’t be real until the drip is in my arm.

In a fortnight’s time, my hair will be coming out, and I will be getting it buzzed. I’ll probably be feeling very tired and sick. I’ll be trying to cope with work, the kids and housework.

I don’t know if I know what I’m doing. Really and truly.

I DO know that I am stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. I have real moments of blackness, the likes of which I’ve never had before, but that is what they are- moments. I feel certain I can get through this. I HAVE to get through this. There is no option.

Tomorrow I am posting another Monday Music, and am determined to make it something funny- tomorrow is my last day of feeling like the real me for a while.

But- no matter how hard you kick me, cancer, I am NOT going down, Mo-fo!!!!!!!!!

Suzy will be back- with better hair, a nicer waistline, and more attitude than ever, once this is all over! πŸ˜€


11 Responses to “WAR”

  1. 1 layla2376 / Leigh
    September 28, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    Raising a glass to your declaration …with you all the way xxx

    Love you, Mrs. Adamson!!!!! πŸ˜€

  2. September 28, 2008 at 9:51 pm

    Kick it baby! We’re kicking it with you and you WILL prevail!

    Thanks Angela- hope you’re doing OK…

  3. 3 Tina
    September 29, 2008 at 1:42 am

    You are such a strong woman! I KNOW you will get through this! Now go kick some a**!!!!!

    Thanks Tina, I’m on it! πŸ˜€

  4. September 29, 2008 at 1:52 am

    Gosh, you have NO IDEA how I wish I had power over time and space so that I could be there with you to hold your hand as you kick this thing.

    You are one of the strongest people I know!

    Love you!!!!!!!

    Love you too- and thanks for all the support!

  5. 5 Skry
    September 29, 2008 at 2:47 am

    We’re with you Suzy, sending hugs from NZ. I’m humming the Rocky song for you right now πŸ˜€

    I am humming it too. Duh- dunah-duh…. πŸ˜‰

  6. September 29, 2008 at 8:20 am

    Sounds like you’ve got such a good, strong attitude towards this fight. How can the cancer do anything other than run away crying from that?!? Thinking about you here in the UK. Stay strong x

    Thanks for your comment, Jennie! I hardly ever get comments from other bloggers in the UK! πŸ™‚

  7. September 29, 2008 at 4:01 pm

    The TB Division is prepared to honor our alliance. When our friends go to war, WE go to war, b’gawd! πŸ˜‰

    Why thank you, TB Division. Why does this make me feel a “They’ll never take…our FREEDOM” Braveheart moment coming on… πŸ˜€

  8. September 29, 2008 at 4:27 pm

    …but same old saggy rack! πŸ™‚

    You have badgers there too?

    Thank you VERY much. What an attractive picture you paint- saggy rack and a badger’s arse. See, this is where anonymity would be useful. I could persuade you all that I look like a supermodel, whereas you all regrettably know that in two weeks time I will not only be overweight but also bald… πŸ˜€

  9. 9 Leeann
    September 29, 2008 at 5:17 pm

    Just wanted to send tons of love this week!! You are truly an amazing woman. Love ya.

    Right back at ya, Leeann! πŸ™‚

  10. September 29, 2008 at 6:07 pm

    Heh. Once about 10 years ago I was playing a huge multiplayer online strategy game, and my alliance (of ~70 players) was one of the top-ranked out of about 16000 players. When we went to war with one of the other alliances, I went into full Braveheart mode and made a long posted “speech” about burning our landing craft on the enemy shore, complete with dramatic setting, much shouting from the troops, etc. It was a big hit.

    I approve!! Maybe I should write a speech…yeah, maybe not… πŸ˜€

  11. September 30, 2008 at 4:34 pm

    Hi there! I’m glad you introduced yourself! I’m not much of a find, honest. I’m going to have to catch up on what you’ve been up to, but I really just wanted to wish you the very best after reading this first entry. I look forward to reading more and more. πŸ™‚

    Likewise! I really enjoyed reading some of your blog earlier! I am also not much of a find…. πŸ˜€

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