All change, yet again

The hospital where I am having treatment for breast cancer can never seem to make a plan and then stick to it! On a number of previous occasions, I’ve thought I was all set, only for them to change their mind at the last minute. I got less than 48hrs notice before my surgery, for example. I went to get blood tests so I could start chemo (the last time…sigh) and when I got there, they told me they’d changed their minds and I’d be getting the surgery first.

So- I guess nothing surprises me now! Certainly not when they called me last night to say there had been a cancellation and could I start the chemo earlier than planned!

I am now going for bloods tomorrow and will probably (nothing is ever certain with these guys) start chemo next Tuesday. I just want to get the next few months over and done with.

I’m mentally still feeling OK. I think my hair coming out is the **big** challenge to this. I’m prepared to admit that it seems like one of worst things about this all (how pathetic!) and I feel tearful and angry when I think about it. I’m absolutely dreading the trip to the hairdressers to get my hair taken away when it starts to come out, but the only other option is pulling it out in clumps in the shower, which seems even worse. I pity the hairdresser who ends up having to do it, because I’ll be a basket case! πŸ˜€

Still, I am definitely tackling this head on, there is no other option! πŸ™‚

One other thing- today would have been my Mum and Dad’s wedding anniversary. My Mum died last October and I know my Dad is missing her very badly (we all are), so today is hard for all of us but especially for him.

I know he reads my blog sometimes, in between working for the brent goose project!! Loads of you know him- if you’re reading this, please give him a shout out! Heck, even if you don’t know him, send him some PT’s anyway. He’s the best guy ever. πŸ™‚

10 Responses to “All change, yet again”

  1. 1 emma
    September 18, 2008 at 3:35 pm

    Hospitals are a nightmare, and they can rarely organise a piss up in a brewery but in this instance, it’s good that they can see you earlier, not later. I’m thinking of you all as you remember your mum too. xx e

    You’re quite right, Emma- sooner I start, sooner I’m done! Thinking about you loads and hoping Baby G is nearly ready to make an appearance! xx

  2. September 18, 2008 at 4:49 pm

    I say counterattack baldness like I have – don’t wait for your hair to fall out, shave it!

    Of course, YOUR hair will eventually grow back. πŸ˜‰

    I’m going to leave it until my hair starts to fall out. But yeah, then it’s going! My condolences for your own hair loss! Men with no hair can be very hot- I bet you’re one of them, lol!!! πŸ˜€

  3. September 18, 2008 at 6:26 pm

    Hugs for your dad and you!

    Thanks Lori!

  4. September 18, 2008 at 7:33 pm

    Hugs for everyone. I am amazed by your wonderful attitude. You will get through this and be a stronger person for it, I just know it!

    Thanks Noah- you of all people know how it is to deal with this. I have been thinking about you a lot recently…hope you guys are doing well. Do you mind if I email you some time? I’d like to talk to you “off blog” and no longer have an easy way of doing so! πŸ™‚

  5. September 18, 2008 at 8:54 pm

    I’m thinking about you, as always, Suzy! And you’ll especially be on my mind next week.

    And I’m thinking about you too, Suzy’s Dad! (Don’t know your real name! LOL) I’ve heard enough about you over the years to know that you’re the most amazing Dad ever.

    Oh, goodness, I forgot to say- his name is Graham!! Thanks Laura!!

  6. September 18, 2008 at 9:09 pm

    Much love to you Suzy. I am will be hoping that the chemo process is as smooth sailing as possible.

    Hello to your dad!

    Thanks Corey!

  7. 7 Skry
    September 18, 2008 at 11:33 pm

    I can’t believe that they are chopping and changing their mind this much, but at least this time it was to tell you that they can get things started sooner and over faster. How many times have the NHS ever said that before?!? πŸ˜›

    And try not to think of the bald bit – think ahead to when it grows back and you have lovely long hair with no split ends! I’d try that myself but alas I think I’m heading for Taoist Biker territory myself atm. Still my hair’s had a good innings. Looks like you’ll have your locks back just as mine leave me. I’ll tell myself that they migrated back home to live with someone who knows how to treat them right πŸ˜€

    And a BIG hello to Graham! Will mail you seperately to this, but I hope you’re keeping well πŸ™‚

    Awww….sweetie, how can you BE without hair?? Wow, that puts my own hair loss into perspective… πŸ˜€ If your hair DOES migrate home, give it my address will you?? I could give it a new home, lol!

  8. September 19, 2008 at 3:43 am

    I am trying to imagine the issues that ust be going through your head and I can’t even fathom the whole situation.

    I can only hope one of my kids describes me as “the best guy ever” someday. I envy that relationship you must have with him.

    I’m sorry if I hit a nerve- I do completely realise how massively fortunate I am. Plus you are doing SUCH a fabulous job as a Dad, your kids will all definitely think the same of you. I guarantee it. πŸ™‚

  9. September 21, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    *HUGS* Suzy. My aunt went through the same thing and was a basket case when she lost her hair but LOVED getting new wigs and different styles. She still has some of them. Take the bad thoughts and hard processes and turn them into good ones because you WILL beat this.

    Angela, many hugs back. You’re such a good person to be thinking of me when you have so much of your own stuff going on. Love to you and your family. xxx

  10. 10 Elisa
    September 22, 2008 at 11:54 am

    I know exactly how you feel. The worst part of my chemo so far was loosing my hair. I wore scarfs around my head for 3 days while it was coming out in clumps and tried to save what little hair was left. 1 let my 15 year old daughter take the clippers to my head, and boy did I cry. But once it is done, that’s it. I now wear a wig most of the time. I met a beautiful woman yesterday at my son’s football game. She had no hair but painted a beautiful butterfly on the top of her head. I walked up to her and told her how much I admired her strength. I could never go out of the house without my wig. Good luck to you and your Dad.

    Thank you Elisa- I really appreciate what you’ve said. I hope your own treatment is going well and that you’ll soon be through it!

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