Good news, but mixed with frustration

Well…I think it is good news, but I am massively confused!!

I went to the oncology department this morning as planned, and they took bloods etc and a history with a view to starting my chemo next Thursday.

THEN- the oncologist calls me in and told me that they have got the results of the core biopsies that they did on Wednesday.

They are now saying that I do NOT have cancer in my left boob. Whilst this is good news, I cannot understand how cancer cells were apparently found in the first biopsy they did, but now they can’t find any. They weren’t willing to speculate on why that might be, and I am extremely confused.

They say now that they won’t be doing the chemo first after all, but want to do the surgery first.

I will meet with my surgeon again at some point next week to discuss.

Confused? I sure as hell am!!! I feel very frustrated to be back at square one with no plan of action and a lot of unanswered questions. I don’t know when I will be getting my surgery, or even what the surgery will now be. They are talking about doing a lumpectomy to just remove the two lumps on the right, but I don’t know if I am now happy for them to just do that. I had reconciled myself to a double mastectomy and actually felt like I had peace of mind to some extent because then this can never come back. As I am so young, there is a good chance that this will come back at a later date, as far as I know, and I feel a lot of confusion and upset over the lack of a clear plan.

Anyhow, it is good news, but I still feel annoyed and frustrated, if that makes sense! 🙂


5 Responses to “Good news, but mixed with frustration”

  1. 1 Sara
    August 15, 2008 at 3:09 pm

    Suzy – that is so very frustrating. Just when you knew the direction you were going someone threw up the detour signs. Is there anyway you can get back in with the docs and discuss a firm plan so you aren’t so in the dark before next week? I’m still sending you tons of positive energy and love! {hugs}

  2. 2 emma
    August 15, 2008 at 8:02 pm

    Sounds like getting blood from a stone in terms of getting clear information about why the results were so different. I would press for an explanation if I were you. I’m completely delighted and totally relieved for you that they can’t find anything dodgy on the other side, but I understand and agree totally that if possible, assuming you have reconciled yourself to having the works, then you want to make sure (if they will agree) that everything is cleaned up completely to protect yourself in the future. I’m so thrilled things are looking up and am sure a path will become clear. much love x e

    Thanks Emma (and glad you made it home in one piece, ha ha!!), you can bet your bottom dollar that I will be demanding a full explanation. I also still feel like I want a double mastectomy, which might be hard to understand for some people but I just never want to do this again. Plus I want my new boobs and tummy tuck!! 😀

  3. August 15, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    What a mess. It has to be hard to know where you stand now. What information is fact and what information is speculative?

    Yup- I pretty much feel like screaming at the moment. I really want answers on why they apparently got a “false positive” on the left breast- from my reseach this does not happen- the only thing I can think is that they got my biopsy mixed up with someone else’s- presumably that poor git thinks they are in the clear. NOT good for anyone. I am also feeling like is anyone EVER going to treat this thing!! Let’s just get on with it, I want to put this behind me!

  4. August 15, 2008 at 9:53 pm

    This reminds me of the time that Mums usual doctor was on leave and a junior doctor told Mum that she probably had cancer.
    Cue a return visit to her usual doctor who told her she certainly didn’t, hauled the junior doctor in and gave him a total bollocking in front of my Mum.
    The absolute agony that idiot put my Mum through was inexcusable.
    Anyhow, I hope there’s a positive outcome to this Suzy. 😀

    That’s awful, Phil! Just to clarify- I do definitely have cancer. Just now they think it’s only on one side.

  5. 5 thecrazymommafiles
    August 16, 2008 at 8:55 pm

    You are entitled to your feelings and each seem to be understandable to me. Ask questions, repeat them if necessary…

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