Update from meeting today

Well, the lump that they were 99.9% sure was benign, is not.

I have to go and see the surgeon again tomorrow morning and I have a lot of tough decisions to make this evening.

Tomorrow will be to decide a plan of action, based on whether I should get both breasts removed in their entirety or just the tumours.

I haven’t got a clue what to do. The surgeon will give me guidance I am sure, but I still feel completely in the dark about my treatment and condition.

I also am desparate to get a CT scan done to find out if this is anywhere else in my body.

On the up side, if I lose both my breasts, they will reconstruct them, which I’m thinking will require QUITE a bit of lipo… πŸ˜€

I need to see some pics of reconstructed boobs. I hadn’t realised how shallow and narcisistic I must be, but actually if they look really crap I am going to be edging towards keeping as much of my existing boobs as I can!!!

My appointment tomorrow morning and I will let you know how I get on.

I’m still doing OK, I totally expected this today because let’s face it, they aren’t going to call you in for an unexpected meeting to tell you it’s all fine, are they.

Please send PT’s that I can find the strength to make a decision, and that it will turn out to be the right one. Thanks.


15 Responses to “Update from meeting today”

  1. 1 emma
    August 7, 2008 at 5:10 pm

    Suzy, I’m so very sorry about this. How truly shit. I am sure the doctors will give you guidance as to what to do for the best. I will keep praying for you and thinking of you (did I mention my dad has some friends in very high places πŸ™‚ ????) xxx

    Emma, shit is EXACTLY the word I would use to describe the situation! Still, I am hearing all kinds of wonderful things about the reconstructions they can do, it sounds like a potential silver lining getting two brand new and improved boobs…breast feeding means mine hit the deck upon removal of bra these days!!! πŸ˜€

  2. August 7, 2008 at 5:52 pm

    My thoughts are definitely with you. A coworker’s daughter, my age with two young children, is a breast cancer survivor, and though it was hard on her and her whole family, she’s come out strong and happy.

    (And for the record, she had a double mastectomy and had breast reconstruction – but had them done smaller than the originals so they wouldn’t bug her so much while jogging. πŸ˜€ )

    Good to know…thanks. If I get the mastectomy and reconstruction, I’m definitely not going smaller, just PERKIER!!!! πŸ˜€ Jogging ain’t my strong suit!

  3. 3 Netty
    August 7, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    Oh Suzy it’s Netty from Jan ’05 I am praying for you!! I am so sorry to hear about these results. I’m sure sitting down and discussing everything with your doctor will help you make the decision that is best for you.

    Netty, I miss you! Thanks for your post!

  4. 4 Susan Roach
    August 7, 2008 at 6:12 pm

    Oh Suzy 😦 I am so so sorry mama!! You are always in my thoughts and prayers girl! Like a previous poster said, it is complete and total shit that you are in this position and I’m so pissed for you!

    Continued prayers for lots of strength and guidence and many, many cyber hugs for you!

    Thanks Susan- miss you loads, thanks for your comment!

  5. 5 Heather J.
    August 7, 2008 at 6:28 pm


    I am so sorry for this news! I am sure the doctors will be able to give you some guidance as to the right decision for you. I do think a double mascetomy is for sure something to consider. Get rid of all that nasty crap!!!!! Lots of hugs!

    Heather, you’re the person in my life who is the closest to knowing how I am feeling…thanks for your words. Ian and I are leaning towards a double mastectomy at this stage. Maybe the surgeon will tell me something tomorrow which will change our minds, though. I am open to suggestion!

  6. 6 Tina
    August 7, 2008 at 6:53 pm

    Suzy! I am SOOOOO freaking sorry to hear about these horrible results. I love the fact that you still have your great sense of humor..you are one strong mama!
    I am sure the Dr’s will guide you into making the best decision for you!


    Thanks Tina- you’re another one I miss very much. I really appreciate your comment. I am going to be OK! I promise! I told them today that I don’t care what bit of my body they cut out as long as I get through this!!! πŸ˜€

  7. August 7, 2008 at 7:04 pm

    I’m sorry to hear that you have to deal with even more now. 😦 I’m sure the surgeon will give you good guidance, they usually want to be cautious and take extra to be safe, which I think makes sense.

    As for reconstruction, both my aunt and my grandmother had this done when they had double mascectomies (however you spell it). You cannot tell by looking at them at all (well, clothed at least, I have no idea naked!). And yes, you do get a “free tummy tuck” as my aunt put it. She said that was the best part!

    Praying for you lots!

    Thanks Noah- I’m so sorry to hear that so many of your family have been unlucky enough to face cancer. Your support means the world to me. You’re such a strong woman.

  8. 8 Emily
    August 7, 2008 at 7:33 pm

    Suzy, I am so sorry 😦

    My aunt had reconstruction, she had both breasts removed, along with part of the chest wall (muscle/tissue). She had immediate reconstruction after the surgery so she never got to see herself without any breasts….they kept the skin and she got implants and there is NO WAY anyone would ever know under clothing! I never saw them in the flesh obviously, but she looked fabulous afterward. Apparently you can get the nipples tattooed back on if they have to remove them but she didn’t have that done. Anyway I’m sure every case is different but she was so pleased with how it turned out…..and her cancer never returned πŸ™‚

    Praying for you suzy!!!!!

    Thanks Em, I think he can save the nipples (God, what a weird thing to be saying!! πŸ˜€ ) and it is always good to hear of positive outcomes.

  9. August 7, 2008 at 7:45 pm

    Praying so hard for you Suzy! I love how you are living by the title of your clog ‘Coping with Chaos’….. you seriously are inspiring with how you have a positive and calm view on just about anything! xoxoxo

    Thank you…seriously, I am SURE I will be OK, how could I not be with all this support!

  10. 10 Jane
    August 7, 2008 at 7:54 pm

    Just keep chanting “new boobs, new boobs”!

    Love you girl!

    LOL, washboard stomach too…love you back! πŸ˜€

  11. August 7, 2008 at 7:59 pm

    Ugh. I HATE this. 😦 I’m praying hard that this is the last bit of bad news you have to face in this process before you start getting some good reports!

    If it were me, I’d have everything removed. Just to be safe, I guess…but what an unfair decision to have to make.

    Always thinking about you…

    Laura, repeat after me, I WILL BE OK!!! πŸ˜€ Love you- and yes, that is what I am thinking.

  12. August 7, 2008 at 8:21 pm

    I’m so pissed off at fate for you – as I read this post my initial feeling was “holy fuck shit this sucks”. I guess it’s no guess how Maya learned a few dirty words (hint: not her sailor father).

    I’d go double so you never have to deal with this again – and let me tell you, I’ve seen some NICE fake boobies in my time, you deserve a good pair!

    *hugs* from Hawaii.

    Kulia, my own response echoes your own sentiments… πŸ˜€ Hugs back and thank you!!

  13. 13 Skry
    August 7, 2008 at 9:10 pm

    I can’t believe it – all everyone here has read is “More problems”, but somehow Sooz you sound like the doctor called you in to say “Remember that lipo? Well it’s back on the cards baby!”

    Can’t believe how well you are taking the news! Like Kulia, I have seen some crackin’ fake boobs in my time. Just make sure you stop at the lipo and boob job so the next time we meet it’s not like meeting Lola Ferrari πŸ˜›

    Remember, if you ever do decide to take up jogging you don’t wanna give yourself black eyes πŸ˜€

    > I need to see some pics of
    > reconstructed boobs.

    There’s bound to be a site out there with people who have been through this kind of thing and have taken before and after pics. I’d look for such a site but I’m in work, so trying to find breast augmentation photos “cause my friend was asking about them” might be a hard sell to the manager…

    Keith, tell your boss to kiss my ass!!! πŸ˜€ Love you…you know it. I can’t begin to tell you how much I am missing you guys right now, but it’s wonderful how you are all keeping in touch.

  14. August 8, 2008 at 3:12 am

    Please consider your family in my daily thoughts and prayers. Your attitude is amazing but be sure not to cover up your emotions in the process. It may seem odd coming from the “King” of covering up HIS emotions, but be sure you have an outlet.

    The medical advances the world has now are spectacular. We will also pray for your medical staff too.

    Thanks, MTAE, I have been concerned about this myself but when I really dig deep, I think I am genuinely OK (for now anyhow). Maybe later it will all hit me. I am not sure.

  15. 15 layla2376 / Leigh
    August 8, 2008 at 2:02 pm

    Suzy, anything you need to ask about the reconstructions or one method versus another you know you only have to get in touch, I have seen hundreds, it is better to talk it through with the surgeon and the breast care nurses as when looking at pics, they can settle any queries then and there. You might look at pics which look awful when in fact its because the woman had to have more radical surgery or was a different build or didn’t heal well. Most of the reconstrucitons by various methods that I have seen in all honesty look great and the methods are getting better and better. The last TRAM reconstruction I saw looked really amazing. I hope you got a plan set today so that you know what is happening over the next few weeks. Aside from perhaps a longer surgery and with reconstructions a longer recovery time, there won’t be much else changed , they will allow recovery time before chemo starts. I hope everything went well today, thanks for taking the time to update xxxx

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